The Bootcut Chronicles: 5 Fashion Crimes We All Committed in the Noughties
If you walk down the street in 2026, men's fashion is… confusing. But at least we aren't wearing jeans that are wider at the bottom than they are at the top.
We need to have an honest conversation about the years 1998 to 2005.
It was a time when David Beckham was God, and whatever he did, we copied. If he wore a sarong, we considered it. If he shaved his eyebrows, we reached for the razor.
But mostly, we took our style advice from the adverts in the back of FHM and Loaded. And looking back? We looked ridiculous.
Here are the 5 deadly sins of "Lad Style" that we all committed.
1. The "Going Out" Shirt
You know the one.
The Brand: Usually Ben Sherman or French Connection (FCUK).
The Fabric: Slightly shiny, 100% polyester, highly flammable.
The Fit: Baggy.
The Look: Always worn untucked, usually paired with a pint of fosters and a desperate look in your eye.
You had a specific "Friday Shirt" that you thought made you look like a movie star. In reality, you looked like a snooker player on his day off.
2. The Crunchy Hair
In the Noughties, if your hair moved in the wind, you had failed.
We didn't just style our hair; we constructed it. We used tubs of V05 or Brylcreem to create rock-hard spikes. The goal was to look like a member of a boyband (specifically 5ive or Blue). The reality was that your hair looked wet for 12 hours straight.
3. The Bootcut Jean
Why did we do this? For some reason, we decided that jeans should cover the entire shoe. We walked around with frayed denim dragging through puddles, absorbing rainwater until our trousers weighed 4kg.
And let's not forget the shoes we paired them with: The Winklepickers. Pointy, brown leather shoes that curled up at the end. An absolute crime against feet.
4. The Chunky Silver Necklace
There was a brief period around 2001 where every lad in Britain decided to wear a thick silver chain outside of his t-shirt. It didn't matter if you were from a posh estate or the inner city; you wanted to look like an extra in a rap video. Instead, we looked like we'd been magnetised and dragged through a hardware shop.
5. The Cargo Trouser (¾ Length)
The ultimate summer look. Too hot for trousers? Too cold for shorts? Why not wear something that makes your legs look incredibly short and has 14 pockets you will never use? Perfect for storing: A Nokia 3310, a lighter, and your dignity.
Why We Miss It
Here is the thing: It was terrible, but it was fun. Fashion today takes itself very seriously. Back then, you could wear a bucket hat and a football shirt to a nightclub and nobody cared. We were all unified in our bad taste.
Want to laugh at the old adverts? The best part about selling vintage magazines is looking at the fashion pages. The adverts for "Jacamo" and "Blue Harbour" in our 2002 issues are comedy gold.
Grab a copy, find a picture of a model wearing a denim jacket three sizes too big, and be thankful you survived the era.